January 26th, 2023

How to support your child or adolescent attend therapy?

​Children and young people (under the age of 16) attending therapy need to be accompanied by a responsible adult, who remains in the building for the entire duration of their sessions. This applies to both in person or online therapy, the child or young person will always need to have a responsible adult in the building during the whole duration of their sessions.
This is for various reasons, for example:

• The child or the therapist may decide to bring the session to an early end,
• The child may need to seek out reassurance or comfort from an adult they know and trust outside the therapeutic relationship,
• The child may need adult support or supervision in going to the toilet or washing their hands
• There may be online/Wifi complications and they may need the support of an adult to fix technical problems.

​How you can make a difference in your child or adolescent's art therapy work

​Over the years, as an art psychotherapist, I have seen many children and young people for therapy. The way that they are supported in attending their sessions can have a great impact on the way they engage in their sessions.
I have noticed that by talking through these ideas with their parents and carers, not only were children arriving and leaving their sessions calmer but also they were in a better place to engage in their own therapeutic process. Sometimes, in leading on or following their appointments, children can even open up to talk with their parent or carer about what has been on their mind.
I hope these suggestions are helpful for you to support your child or adolescent in making the most of their therapy work.

Becomings therapy room

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​How your role is important

Whether this is for online art therapy or in person, attending therapy can be quite anxiety provoking. Especially in the first few sessions when the client is developing trust and a positive relationship with the therapist- known as the Therapeutic Alliance.  
This is a particularly vulnerable time in the development of therapeutic work. Your child is making important judgements and decisions about therapy and the therapist. The way you support them during this period is crucial.
Here are some ideas and things to keep in mind before and after their sessions.

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​Before the therapy starts

1. It’s always good for the child or adolescent to meet the therapist before therapy starts. I usually invite the child and their parent/s to an Introductory Meeting. This is a good time to ask any questions and to have a sense of the space (online or in person) and how it feels to be with me before deciding if art therapy is the best option. 
2. Because art therapy takes a psychodynamic approach, which means that the relationship between the client and therapist is central to the therapeutic success, the more this relationship is respected and nurtured outside the therapy room, the easier it is for the child to trust and develop a good relationship with the therapist.
3. In my experience, it has always been helpful for you to say to the child ‘You’re seeing Marta tomorrow, would you like to prepare anything for it?’ or ‘Let’s go to see Marta now.’ rather than ‘You have therapy tomorrow’ or ‘Let’s go to therapy now.’ ​

​Before the therapy Sessions: Things to keep in mind

Prepare your child for each session, preferably the day before; let them how is it going to happen

• Who is taking them to their appointment, or who is going to be around if this is an online therapy session.
• Talk through what is plan to happen before or after the appointment, often thinking about the snacks and meals around the sessions can help.
• Allowing time to prepare and to process; protecting calm times before and after the sessions.

2. Plan sufficient time for the journey if attending in person, or setting all up (making sure you have a good Wi-Fi connection and so on) if this is an online session. Your child may be a little anxious about their appointment, rushing things can only add to the stress.
3. Leading on to the time of their appointment; keep a calm and soft tone of voice. Avoid talking about upsetting or conflicting themes. Do not try to break silences; your child may need a quiet time in preparation for their session.
4. Let your child know what you will be doing while they are in session. They might be curious or worried about you during their therapy time. Knowing what you are doing can help them settle and not to be distracted about you outside the therapy room. Let them know:

• Where are you actually waiting?
• What you will be doing? i.e. having a pause/relaxing, reading, writing, or just thinking of them.
• Never complain of ‘wasting time’ by waiting for the session to be over.
• Do not say that you would like to ‘pop to the shop’ or make an important phone call while waiting.

5. If your child is a bit anxious or apprehensive, encourage them to let me know of this, or suggest you telling me at the beginning of the session. However, never tell me that the child has been ‘really nervous’ before the session without them agreeing to it. You can explain to them that feeling a little nervous is natural, and that I would understand and help them feel welcome.
6. Resist the temptation to distract or reassure your child away from whatever they are feeling about the session and in meeting me. Usually once a child is in the therapy room they are ok and I will be paying attention as to whether they are able to manage the session.

• You can say ‘I am sure you will be alright, I trust Marta to look after you’, ‘I’ll be waiting/thinking of you outside’ or ‘At any moment you can decide to leave the session.’
• Do not say ‘Have fun!’ or ‘Go and talk to Marta about it.’ ​

​After the therapy sessions: Things to keep in mind

1. No matter at what time your child finishes their session (early or on time), you need to receive them with sensitivity and warmth when they leave the therapy room.  If in person, I would be meeting in the reception area, if online, you would join our zoom meeting at the end of the time. Here are some ideas of how to receive your child after their appointment:

• Do not make direct questions, such as ‘How did it go?’ ‘Did you have fun?’ ‘Did you tell Marta about…?’
• You can say ‘Thank you Marta.’, ‘Is there anything I need to know before we go?’ or ‘Are you ready to head back?' or 'Do you need a few minutes before we go?’

2. As mentioned before, you may have already agreed with the child what to do after their appointment. This can always be re-negotiated as the therapy progresses. Your child may need extra time or support during the first few sessions, and as the time goes by, they will know how things are likely to go and be more able to manage and regulate their emotions. Whatever you have decided between you two, make sure you stick to it! These will help your child to know that you can keep them in mind and that you are there to support them in the therapeutic process.
3. After their sessions, you can make positive remarks. When appropriate you can say something like ‘Well done for attending your session today, I know you were a little worried before the appointment.’  or ‘I am really proud of you seeing Marta, I know that it can be a little anxiety provoking before the sessions.'
4. Also, and very importantly, you can say something like ‘Thank you for letting me to take you to see Marta, I am really proud of being able to support you through this.'

​Give your feedback

​Supporting a child in attending therapy is an important job, and not always easy for a parent or a carer. If your child is in therapy, with whatever therapist or counsellor, make sure that their therapist values your role and don't be afraid to ask what else can you do to support the process. I am sure that your child's therapist will have good practical ideas and will be more that happy to support you in the process.
Please let me know if these suggestions have been helpful and if you have other ideas that have not been mentioned above.
I would love to hear from you!

Marta Perestrello, Becomings Therapy Services